Joy Unspeakable (Barbara A. Holmes)

I appreciate what Holmes calls "Indescribable moments of deep spiritual abiding." Holmes writes such moments qualify as "marks of contemplative practice." I can recall such moments when church members would simply hum a song through. During those moments, people were crying and in some cases, on the floor weeping with fanning women (missionaries dressed in white) surrounding them as anchors of support.

I can recall the organist being filled with "the spirit" and "getting away" with a song. The choir didn't need to join because they understood this as the organist's way of shouting and dancing. This was her moment to join in the "ring shout" which was important since she is unlikely to leave the organ.

As a child, I likely spent those moments laughing at Mrs. McNeil who was passing out and being caught by the usher board members. I was probably taking notes with my cousins because we would imitate those who got caught in the spirit after church on my grandma's front porch. I didn't appreciate it as a contemplative moment then. In fact, I thought the opposite. The running down the aisles, the swaying of the arms, the falling out and being caught, etc. all appeared chaotic to me. I simply saw the exterior but did not pay attention to what was happening beneath the surface.

I didn't appreciate the way the music and the song lyrics spoke to the experiences my elders were enduring at that time. I didn't understand "being caught up in the spirit" or "catching the Holy Ghost" as being a spiritual trance. I certainly didn't recognize the connections with African indigenous religion.

Now that I have experienced life as an adult and have experienced my own "life experiences" I know what those moments are like on a personal level. I understand what it means to just wave your hand when you can't say a word. There are some songs that awaken memories in my spirit and mind that will leave me speechless and floored with tears and a heavy heart. They remind me of my grandmother who cared for me with tremendous love and care. They remind me of my personal periods of dispair, but moreso, they remind me of "how I got over" and "how God brought me through." Those moments are without a doubt contemplative moments. For those who are in those "trances" it is not chaotic at all. It is quite the opposite.

Those moments bring comfort and peace. Those moments invite the arms of the spirits, the elders, and the community to hold you up and embrace you and connect with your praise. In those moments, you are in the arms of God and no matter what you are going through, you just know "everything is gonna be alright." This is a deep and profound spiritual experience.

It is not silent meditation; it is not Taize or the likes. But then again, it can be. That is the beauty of it all. It is boundless. It is not limited in its ability to define itself. In those moments of what Holmes calls "frenzied noise of a praise service," the individual has free expression and the community supports one another through it all. My grandmother Laura sits quietly and wipes away a single tear. My grandmother Evelina will slowly get up and then do a two step dance across the church smiling and shaking her head. Both women felt good inside and felt as if they released their joys and concerns to the Lord and most importantly, God heard their cries.

Holmes offered integrity and respect for these contemplative practices that can too often be taken for granted or dismissed. I grew up in this culture and still didn't recognize its authenticity. But now I can truly appreciate the gift this experience has given me in that I feel liberated in my praise and I can appreciate the diversity of worship that is offered by a world of cultures and religious experiences.

What Holmes raise as a concern is also a concern of mine--passing on the tradition. How will this form of free expression and communal praise survive? How will it thrive when the face of religion and worship is changing. I look at the popular following of Joel Olsteen. I see a huge stadium filled with people who sit still listening intently to the words of the preacher/speaker/teacher. I don't see a great deal of crowd interaction and I never see anyone get out of their seat except to recite the affirmation of faith in the beginning of the service.

How is self expression being encouraged? How is communal worship experiences being celebrated? Where are those invitational moments for contemplation beyond the preaching of the Word or the delivery of the message?

This is not to be critical of Mr. Olsteen or any church that resembles this style. Something is drawing the masses to these experiences and these experiences are drastically different from those ring shout contemplative moments I encountered as a child. My fear is the more people lean toward this stadium style worship, the more we return to those closed minded ideals that categorize "traditional" praise as being secular or paganistic. I fear that a new generation will be raised to be ashamed of their cultural roots and take for granted the value of these authentic experiences.

I want to understand the pull towards this mega style worship and explore how to strike a balance between this style of worship and traditional worship that also celebrates our African roots/heritage.

I further appreciated the author's celebration of Thurman's clairvoyant gifts. I appreciated her links to his life and contemplation, again reminding us to look within. She provided several evidence of this and thus bring to the forefront the true foundation of Unspeakable Joy. This is also the beauty of authentic praise. The fact that it comes from the core of a person's being and spirit.

I also never saw the Israelite's wandering in the desert as a contemplative experience before. I found this analogy to be very powerful. How often do we have those wandering experiences. I have them more often than I care to admit and become frustrated and feel as if everyone else is doing XYZ and I am still here--wherever "here" is. But if I can appreciate those moments as spiritual encounters and moments of contemplation, I believe my outlook on life would be transformed and I will also look closer to what is happening to me internally. My wandering is now a contemplative pilgrimage. Going through and emerging from this pilgrimage is Joy Unspeakable. -Waltrina N. Middleton